Well Tempered

The song I am listening to is called this. ‘Well Tempered’ by NYM. Its on my Spotify Discovery Weekly playlist and its fantastic. Majority of the songs on this weeks playlist, actually, have been quite fabulous.

This morning Jeff and I woke up ‘early’ – 6:45am PST. We did it. We got out of bed and were in the car by 7:10, coffee in hand. On we went, to Tank Hill in Cole Valley, SF. Leah & Matt’s friend Zack lives over there. He’s an entrepreneur and its pretty cool to hear what he does.

Anyway, so we’re on the top of Tank Hill at 7:30am and its 44 degrees out. Not sunny at all. Not like it was in our hood – Outer Sunset, ironically. SUNset! Why are we up here, you ask? To film, of course! And because its a flipping beautiful site, no doubt at sunrise (this was our first time).

The sun is shining (behind the fog), you can see it. So, as we say here in San Francisco,.. ‘Let the sun burn the fog and show the beauty’. (I don’t know if anyone has ever said that in San Francisco, let alone referencing San Francisco, but now I have).

Turns out, that is exactly what happened. The sun burned away the fog and, my goodness, the colors were plentiful. So, we set up. Any by we, I mean Jeff. I sat out my yoga blanket and patiently awaited his go-ahead to begin my lines… and movement.

“Hi There! It’s me, Jesse!…”

The beginning stages of the production of #Zendencies.

Let me ask you this one question… What are your Zendencies?

~JJ YOGA (aka Jesse, Juanita, J, Jams, JJ, whatever) ~ Be well & ❤ always.

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We Ah Wi

We Ah Wi – by Javelin – The theme song to this post. Enjoy.

Where are we? Where are you? On this planet, we call Earth. Orbiting the Sun that keeps us all going every single day. If it wasn’t for the sun, we wouldn’t know light and we wouldn’t know warmth.  We wouldn’t be. Period.

Where you are? I am. I am floating about. Listening to my tunes that jazz me up. Typing on my self-earned computer. Managing my new life’s administrative needs. In a coffee shop. Eating a ‘Popeye Salad’ and of delicious things that are revitalizing my insides. Later, I will go to Ocean Beach Yoga to check in for the 6:30pm class, which I will then take. Then I will take the 8pm class, as well, because why not! I want to salute the sun and honor exactly where I am today and in the moments to follow.  Is there more to this question – heck ya, let’s dig deeper.

Its the beginning of our calendar year, yet again. Let’s asses the new year questions we tend to ask ourselves at the beginning of the course of each year..

Where are you? Where do you want to be? What are you doing? What do you want to be doing?

 

Are you happy? Could you be happier? What will make you happier?

We use this new year as the perfect excuse to reassess where we are in life – in the life we want to be living for ourselves and maybe for others, as well.   This self and life inquiry is such a fascinating thought process to only inquire in during the beginning of each year.  I think the practice is in asking this question throughout the changing year.  Because, for real, how much changes in one year – and this is not only meant to be in reference to the things around us that change, but also the things within ourselves that change throughout the course of one year.

Flashback
I quit my successful career in the trade show industry to fulfill a life long dream of going to India to become a yoga instructor – just shy of 1 year ago now.  Now I am continuing to successfully live in the city that I imagined myself living in when I was younger and am teaching yoga, mainly, to corporate employees. Hello, dreams come true.

So, now what?
So, now its the beginning of 2017 and almost my one year anniversary of leaving the company and people who I worked with and for – who helped me, in large part, become who I am today.  These individuals helped me figure out that I was meant for more.  They helped me figure out that I love to help people find solutions; helped me learn that by being a listening ear and observer, I was developing skills that would be triggered as a yoga instructor.  Times were stressful, but if I didn’t know that stress, I wouldn’t have felt I was ready to search for more.

So now, I try to reflect on my blessings on a daily.  I reflect on how lucky I am in this moment and work to disregard any negative feelings of potential failure in the future.  The future is completely out of my control, so how can I prepare to make my future spectacular if it is out of my control?   I can practice self inquiry every day – I can look forward and think about what might happen and prepare for the best & worst.  I can have simple phrases to help me not get hung up on the outcome being good or bad.   ‘Universe willing.. ” I will get my taxes done with plenty of time to spare before the due date. (Seriously is a goal of mine – and with that, I love having goals, but I don’t want to feel a sense of disappointment in my Self if I don’t succeed).

Goals are meant to help push us towards something we want for ourselves or for others. But if we don’t reach the goal or we simply don’t reach it by our deadline, then we tend to be hard on ourselves.  I say this frequently in my yoga classes and that is to be kind to ourselves; to appreciate, enjoy and love ourselves, for we are the only one’s who have to live with ourselves until the end of our days, so why not be our own best friend rather than our own worst enemy?  Why not be someone I can count on, only to know that when I give my word to myself or to others, that I can count on me?

We Ah Wi – Where are we? Where are you? Where do you want to be?

Be Happy. Be Kind. Be Grateful for all that you are and all that you’re going to be in every moment to come.  Happy New Year to you.  Cheers to learning about your true self and being the kindest person you can be, to your self now, today and always.

With love and thought
~ JJ.

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Ask and you shall receive

Life is a never ending evolution of happenings. Evolution of life and life’s happenings. Evolution of humans – physically and mentally.

Lets play with the ‘mental’ evolution for a minute. There are fads, right? Trends you could say. Its a cycle – they are cyclical in their evolution. Are our minds cyclical? Are our spirits cyclical?

They say we are on a journey in this life, in our past life, in the next life – but there is no ‘resurrection’. So what is ‘the next life’. What is life? Is life only defined by a living creature? What is living? Isn’t everything living? Does not everything have a spirit? If each thing we touch has a purpose, is that thing not alive; full of life?

I have been really thinking about what I want recently. Where do I want to go; What do I want to do? I am working on letting go of the stresses in life and letting be. Just letting be. Trusting in myself, believing in myself, loving myself, being kind to myself through my thoughts and actions. I have to. This is the only way I am going to get to where I want to be.

I think its important to have goals. I also think and am working on practicing the emotion I am tying to that goal. Allowing myself to approach this goal neutrally – letting the universe take over and believing in whatever outcome I arrive at. I want to find value in the experience and not rely on the outcome – just believe in the outcome. Believe that the outcome is exactly what is meant to happen. That I gained so much already and actually I did reach my goal – I am reaching my goal. Every day. I am working on myself. On my acceptance of myself and my life as it is in this moment.

I have known I’ve needed and wanted to put myself out there in the Yogic community in San Francisco, but something was holding me back. It was myself. I have been holding myself back. No one else. Just me. So I realized this right and I knew that, yeah this is a scary and uncomfortable feeling, putting myself out there, but you know what, go out there, believe in where you are. I repeat a couple intentions or mantras, if you will, to myself every single day. To help guide me, to help push me, to help me believe in myself. And you know what, it works! The universe is hearing me, is believing in ME, is paving the path I am meant to be walking.

I can’t actually explain how happy I am. How just letting go, letting be is allowing so much space for wonderful things to transpire in my life. If you open your heart and your mind to the possibilities and the opportunity of recognizing when the universe is answering and guiding, you will be amazed at what you find and the inspiration you find in yourself.

A quote from the book I’m reading (Living with the Himalayan Masters by Swami Rama), “Complete self-reliance and fearlessness were the foundation stones of Gandhi’s philosophy…Gandhi believed in the art of living without concern for the fruits of one’s actions. He practiced not worrying about success or failure, but paid attention to the work at hand without feeling the slightest anxiety or fatigue”.

Believe in yourself and do what you’re supposed to.

With love and light ~ me, as I am.

Friday thoughts..

If I try to think about the feeling I’m embarking on, I think I can sum it up, in this moment, with the word – truth.
No more doing out of expectations. No more worrying about what others might think – about me, about my actions, about the way I choose to live or spend my days. This is being selfish to my own emotions – finding truth in my own being – believing in myself and knowing I will succeed. Surrounding myself with people who don’t force judgement and people who strive to be their best selves, every day.
This morning my mantra morphed into – I am Smart. I am Successful. I am Strong. The S’s. Snakes. The wave of the movement. The vibration in the mind. The waves of thoughts – coming in and going out, like the tide.
After my asana practice, I meditated on the back stairs that lead into our apartment. I sat there, facing the sun, feeling the warmth and feeling my thoughts coming and going. Connecting and jumping.
I made a decision today and I think I can call it a promise. I decided/promised that I would listen to myself and not be afraid of the what if’s. I made a decision to be honest and tell someone exactly what I needed for me – without feeling bad, feeling guilt, feeling worry. I have had this thought coming and going from my mind and I feel out of the meditation I did this morning, I found clarity on what I needed to do.
I am a new me. Well not a new me, a Stronger me. A more Successful me. A Smarter me.
I’ve said this before and I find myself saying this to myself quite frequently – call it a reminder, a mantra – I wont not succeed. Meaning, I will succeed.
I owe it to myself to try my hand at this new chapter in my life. No jumping back to what is familiar, but less enjoyable. I want to be the best me, every day. I want to be the happiest me, every day.
Reality pushes you to settle just a bit, but you never have to settle completely. I am choosing to be me, do what makes me the happiest and not be ashamed or worried. After all, I wont not succeed.

New Me

US of A

I’m home! Back in the old US of A. Not much has changed, except for me 😉
Such bittersweetness happening. I literally fell in love with India. What an awesome feeling though to know that is true. I was anxious to see what India was going to be like to me and now I know. Seven weeks – well 48 days, I’ve been gone… away. Traveling – in India. How crazy! The time has passed so quickly, yet not quickly at all. I savored every day – appreciated every day. It seemed to make the days full and so, so enjoyable. My body has changed – I’m more flexible, I’ve lost weight and become stronger. I can do a headstand now without a worry – and hold it for a while. Today I’m going to time myself and see just how long ‘a while’ is.

India is this wild, crazy, happy, beautiful, weak yet strong, shocking, dirty, but clean in its own way, amazing place. It encompasses it all – from all climates, to all habitats, to all religions, to the longest history, to the nationwide appreciation for family. This is a place that I think you need to be ready for to experience. I read a lot before I left and a common thread was among most blogs – what you give to india, you get out of india. If you go with an open mind, an open heart and open eyes you will experience the true beauty, appreciate the true beauty and see the true beauty. On the contrary, if your expectations are high and you fight the reality that is India, then the experience, let’s say, wont be as appreciated by you or by India.
This is a massive country. There are legitimately billions of people living in India – I just googled it and there are 1.252 BILLION people living in India – as of 2013! Thats 3 years ago. These people don’t play when it comes to having children. To give you a comparison, there are a recorded 318.4 MILLION people in the entire US of A – as of 2014.

During the first week in India, with my love, I remember thinking to myself – why do they stay here? Why don’t they leave if living conditions are this … well, tough. I think within a couple days, I realized why. The ancient history, culture, traditions are so, so strong. This is their home, their families are here – generations of families – married into families – cousins, cousins and more cousins. But isn’t this the same for America and any other place, really? Yeah, the family part, but not always coming with the ancient history, culture or strongly kept traditions. The roots with family in India, to me, just seem sooo rooted. In a way that is foreign to me. Of course I miss my family, my friends that I left when I moved to San Francisco – THE furtherest point I could have moved in the US, excluding Hawaii or Alaska – not because I knew that, but because I fell in love with a city and have always been supported by my family to move, to explore & to travel. To miss them, love them and long for them, but while I am exploring and living my own journey. In India, the entire family pitches in when the elders need anything – they always pitch in. It isn’t a choice, its love. There is no grudge or resentment for helping to pay medical bills. There is only love. The act of being Selflessly selfish.

Selflessly Selfish. This was the last two weeks at Rishikesh Yog Peeth from Monday – Saturday at about 10 – 11/12pm each day. With our teacher, Roshan. This man. This is a man that has a way of thinking, understanding and putting responses into the most perfect form that makes you look at yourself in a completely different way, and like it. This is a man that has changed his own life through Yoga. Through living the lifestyle, being devoted to the lifestyle and believing the benefits. Thinking the benefits; manifesting the benefits. Think wisely, think carefully, think positively, think deeply – your thoughts will manifest.

How can we be selflessly selfish? He puts it in a way – we are trained to be selfish. We are encouraged to be selfish – as children, not wanting to play with someone or let them use your toy – even once. We get angry when we hear ‘no’. We do the opposite. We act selfishly.
On the other side – we want to be selfless. But are we? Are we always selfless? Can we always be? We don’t know, we just want to be and we want to say we are, selfless. Because that is kind. That is good.
So, we don’t want to be entirely selfish – we want to through a dash of selflessness in there too. Let’s call it being ‘Selflessly Selfish’. Finding the balance. Let’s give to others, to help ourselves – because it makes us feel good and we are doing good, too. We want to donate to a good cause – that is being selflessly selfish. You give something and take something in return – the emotions, the feelings, the selfish feeling that you’re doing something to make you feel better about yourself. That is OK. Think about the emotional side, rather than the monetary side. Do things that make you feel good. Be selfish in the way that makes you feel good about yourself. Do good for others, for this planet, for ourselves – just to make us feel good about ourselves and know we are also doing good in return.
Choose who you want to surround yourself with in a selflessly selfish way. Its OK to think negatively about someone, about how the way they treat you makes you mad, sad and angry. Its OK to choose to not be around that person. Its also OK to choose to be around the people who make you feel good about yourself; who encourage you, support you and are there for you – not just situationally; always. Be selflessly selfish with the relationships you keep, and don’t be afraid of it. Don’t feel the pressure from others on what is right for you.  How can someone tell you how you should feel – how you feel is something so private. You and only you know what is right for you. Be aware. Be more observant of yourself and be impartial.
Impartial Observation in a selflessly selfish manner. 

This is day two of being back in the US. I woke up at 5am this morning. Within a few minutes I began to hear my phone chirping. Text Message. And again, then again, and again. It must be the girls (Meryl, Kat and Lele) – we are all experiencing strange jet-lag. I ate a bunch of Doritos last night and had tequila and pancakes for dinner. Don’t judge – be an impartial observer, lol. Please?

Yesterday was awesome. Woke up, made Jeff and I breakfast – eggs, beans and sliced, sautéed potatoes. De-lish. Jeff left for work and I had the house to myself. I did the dishes, separated laundry, made the bed, went through some of the things I brought home. Called Verizon and cancelled my Int’l plan. Called my credit card company to see why my cards been declined.. they had nothing, so apparently its OK. We’ll see.
Then I went to a Hatha Yoga class at 10:30am at Ocean Beach Yoga a few blocks away from our apartment. The teachers name was Hannah – she’s most likely my age or couple years older or younger. One of those that just has great skin you can’t really tell? Young and old soul. I read on their website that she did teacher training in Kerala, so I was pumped about that because, duh, I just came back from India and most recently spent time in, you guessed it, KERALA!
So, I brought it up naturally, as a I bee-bopped my way into the studio yesterday morning. Smiling and so happy – feeling great. She said her training was in 2012 and I asked if she had plans of going back to India and she said, ‘probably not, it was pretttyyyy tough’. So, there is definitely a story there. I didn’t push. Just continued in my excitement and bee-bopped into class to set up my mat. Her class was awesome – she definitely knows what she’s doing. Class ends, I’m walking out – this man is speaking to Hannah about the studentship he’s doing and starting tomorrow (which is now today). I expressed my immediate interest as he describes that they will be learning the anatomy part of the asana’s, and going more in depth into the specific muscles used (OMG That’s what I’ve been studying for the past four weeks! Jesse is excited!) – and learning specifics on the history of yoga, connecting it with more than the just physical aspect (cha-ching!). I naturally am obviously eavesdropping and give my unknowingly louder than expected – ‘Oh Cool!’. He’s so nice and says ‘yeah its awesome. I’m so excited! You should sign up, I think there is one spot left as of Monday’ — eerr its now Friday, can’t be any spots left…. Within minutes, I was signing on the iPad screen to complete the purchase of the 4-week (only on weekends) Adhikara (Studentship) – including one month of unlimited yoga. Adhikala - 4.9-5.1

This starts – TODAY! Day two home and I’m already starting my journey in the US. YAY!
Then Kat texts me later – this is now the afternoon around 4:30pm. When I got home from asana practice, I had a grand plan of doing laundry and going grocery shopping. I felt kind of out of it and decided to lay on the couch for a quick 20 minute nap. 4 hours later – Im laying on the couch, texting with Kat. No new food in the fridge or laundry folded on the bed. Kat’s at work – GetAround – She says ‘My bosses wife is teaching yoga for my coworkers birthday (or something like that) and she really wants to meet you! I told her about our trip and she’s interested in hearing more. Do you want to come Monday night?’. Response – Immediate, Yes. Kat’s office has a Yoga Room. They don’t have a weekly Yoga Teacher to occupy that Yoga Room. Insert – Jesse. I meet Kat’s bosses wife, in turn meet the bosses, in turn (fingers crossed), I get my first SF Corporate Yoga teaching gig (insert champagne bottle popping emoji). I need to figure out a good 20 and 30 minute sequence. Gets the heart pumping, but not too much; gives a good stretched – geared to those sitting all day. The Juanita’s Corporate Office Sequence. It has a ring to it, I think.

I have about 4 1/2 hours until Adhikala – Day 1! Woop Woop!
Jeff’s still sleeping and its 8:50am. I know its Saturday, but I’m totally going to wake him 🙂
Love is life.

❤ J

its all happening!

Its the New Year! And its all happening! I’m going to India! I quit my job! Its official!!

The New Year happened right, then on day two Jeff and I go to our old hood, the Inner Sunset, and had breakfast at Art’s. Go there if you’re in SF.
We brought our skateboards because its fun to skate around that area of Golden Gate Park – 9th and Lincoln into the park, around the American Academy of Sciences, the De Young Museum, the SF Botanical Garden. You just cruise – there are decent smallish hills, but you get some speed so your adrenalin is running. We went all around and through the Botanical Garden’s for the first time – we didn’t even scratch the surface of what that place has to offer. Highly recommended. I can’t wait to go back.
We meet friends on Haight St. for a bit, then continued back on our journey –> our goal is to skate home, through GG park. We’ve done it once from 5th ave down to the ocean, which is about 48 blocks. We are on our merry way, crushing the declines – have a little liquid courage which I think helped a bit. I was picking up speed very quickly and luckily people were moving for me ;o) We make it to the 30’s and I wipe out. Board slips out from under me and I didn’t have enough time to put my arms out and I smacked down on my tailbone / bum. Full impact.
Long story short, I haven’t begun the headstand challenge…
Its amazing how just one thing can change your plans. Can change the course in which you thought you were going. Not to mention the bruise…

I officially gave my notice at work yesterday, January 6th, 2016. After almost six years in the trade show industry. My boss was both shocked and so excited for me to be making this decision. I didn’t realize how emotional I’d get. Had an awesome meeting with the exec’s in the afternoon and they basically just said that they are leaving the door wide open for me to return if and when I want to. Wow. I have been so anxious about this day – about what’s happening right now. The only way I can really describe how I am feeling is surreal. I’m going through the motions of what’s happening, but its hard to grasp the entirety of what’s happening. I am so lucky. HA!

The news was broken to the entire office today, which was crazy and cool and heart pounding. Everyone says the same thing and man is it like confirming a lot of why I am choosing to do this now. “You’re getting out!”, “I wish I did something like that”, “Can I come?”, “Your inspiring!”.
Holy Shit! I am doing this! And you know what, hell yes I’m doing this. I want to accomplish the things that I have and do dream about. And I will!

Hi, nice to meet you. My name is Jesse Juanita Jarvis and I live my dreams.

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wednesday

~ It is the second to last day of the year today. It has been cold, rainy, gloomy and wonderful outside all day today. I went to work this morning was pretty productive, which was nice and then I left and went to get my vaccinations for my travels. My. Arm. Kills right now.
I had three total shots – rather than the initial five and therefore $600-ish richer than I would have been. Hepatitis A, Typhoid and Tdap (Tetanus). Avoided Rabies and Japanese Enchepalitis…. for now. The shots didn’t hurt badly, nor was I nervous when I was getting them, but somehow you forget that it isn’t that initial prick that hurts, but the aftermath. When you’re home and you’re realizing that they just stabbed your arm muscle straight up with a needle and injected a bubble of crazy-concentrated liquid into your arm. That’s just not something that happens a lot, therefore pretty much is really, surprisingly painful.
To reward myself, I went and bought Lays Ruffles, Sour Cream and Lipton’s Onion Mix. Made the dip and now, simultaneously, eating the lot. Super bad, I know.
I feel like typing this is going to help hold me to it..maybe not, but I can only hope.. and especially since I’m writing this blog now… Starting in the New Year, I am not doing dairy, anymore. I need to just stop. Really I don’t have dairy, except cheese and sour cream mainly. It does no good for my insides and skin. Taking a break is necessary to realign my system. And I just flat out have too much. Its an addiction at this point.
Friday, January 1 is the beginning.
I’m also going to start practicing and mastering a headstand – step by step, every day.
When I went to Passport Health today to get my vaccinations, the gal that was visiting with the doctor before me ended up to also be going to India, in March. Her mom was there, too and showed me a few pictures. She said it was amazing and the gal, my age, was just going to go for vacation. I’m so excited to see what everyone see’s in India. The world is small and sometimes it gets smaller, but also bigger at the same time.
One day closer and one task over.
Time to continue the to-do list for my travels and future destinations,  one item, at a time.  ~