If I try to think about the feeling I’m embarking on, I think I can sum it up, in this moment, with the word – truth.
No more doing out of expectations. No more worrying about what others might think – about me, about my actions, about the way I choose to live or spend my days. This is being selfish to my own emotions – finding truth in my own being – believing in myself and knowing I will succeed. Surrounding myself with people who don’t force judgement and people who strive to be their best selves, every day.
This morning my mantra morphed into – I am Smart. I am Successful. I am Strong. The S’s. Snakes. The wave of the movement. The vibration in the mind. The waves of thoughts – coming in and going out, like the tide.
After my asana practice, I meditated on the back stairs that lead into our apartment. I sat there, facing the sun, feeling the warmth and feeling my thoughts coming and going. Connecting and jumping.
I made a decision today and I think I can call it a promise. I decided/promised that I would listen to myself and not be afraid of the what if’s. I made a decision to be honest and tell someone exactly what I needed for me – without feeling bad, feeling guilt, feeling worry. I have had this thought coming and going from my mind and I feel out of the meditation I did this morning, I found clarity on what I needed to do.
I am a new me. Well not a new me, a Stronger me. A more Successful me. A Smarter me.
I’ve said this before and I find myself saying this to myself quite frequently – call it a reminder, a mantra – I wont not succeed. Meaning, I will succeed.
I owe it to myself to try my hand at this new chapter in my life. No jumping back to what is familiar, but less enjoyable. I want to be the best me, every day. I want to be the happiest me, every day.
Reality pushes you to settle just a bit, but you never have to settle completely. I am choosing to be me, do what makes me the happiest and not be ashamed or worried. After all, I wont not succeed.